Last Sunday was my birthday.  I guess I am now in the category of ‘mid-twenties’ – or simply ‘old enough to know better’.

Today’s task is to get my car through its MOT.  Today’s mission is to pay for it.  I am so happy with what I do as a career but I am also sick of worrying about money!  Gig-wise, it’s either feast or famine.  I’m either driving myself crazy trying to fit everything in or freaking out as I see the empty pages of my diary looming – right before rent goes out.

It all seems to be averaging out though, I guess the feasts get me through the other times.  But I feel like my bank balance is just ambling along – a certain amount into my overdraft.  I have to ask myself, will I ever make a profit?  Will I ever get out of debt?  Should I have gone to Dubai when I had the chance?  Will I ever have a savings account with more than 75p?  Yes that’s the actual amount I have saved for you know, emergencies such as car repairs and MOTs.

So what do I do?  Keep plodding along with the belief that somehow it’ll all turn out fine?  Or do I get a real job with a real salary and the possibility of disposable income?

There are pros and cons to each possibility of course.  I have so much freedom now to organise myself and my schedule that it wouldn’t be the same without that flexibility.  I am meeting new people all the time and every week is different.  Plus, if work isn’t coming all that easily or frequently, there is always more I can do to put myself out there.  

Freelancing is the kind of job where, at the end of the day you can never say ‘I’m finished!’  … more often than not what I’m thinking at the end of the day is ‘Have I done enough?  What more should I have done?  What do I need to do tomorrow?’  There isn’t the work/home distinction that comes with a more corporate job.

But, all in all, when I’m actually doing the gigs – orchestras and shows in particular, that’s when I think yes, this is my place, this is what I’m meant to do.  I guess it’s just the in between times when worries set in – and the only way to diminish them is to do more in terms of self-publicity and pushing for those all important gigs.

I am writing this post from my living room.  This is unusual because I usually write from my bedroom/office/harp room.

Yes, I have been banished from my usual hide-away by two men who are re-tiling my shower.  I see it all as karma really.  The other day I was cleaning my bathroom and lamenting on the state of the tiles, then, the following day, three tiles came tumbling down while I was washing my hair… I was lucky not to break several toes!  The upshot of this is that it all has to be redone, and I am in exile for the day.  But, on the upside, I will have lovely new tiles to replace the frankly grotty old ones.

So, the Central Manchester gig I referred to in the previous post was in fact the Idina Menzel concert that took place in Manchester’s Palace Theatre.  It was so exciting to be in that gorgeous building playing for her.  Idina seemed really lovely and the concert had an amazing atmosphere.  The stage-crew were very reluctant to help get my harp out of the building – they thought it would be appropriate/possible for me to go out the front way and barge my way through about five hundred screaming fans in the rain… errr no thank you!  

Being in this line of work is definitely teaching me to stand up for what I need and to make a fuss if I don’t get it.  It makes a huge difference to stress levels on the day if staff are actually helpful in showing you where you need to be. I heard once that harpists have a reputation for being divas who insist on having things done their way.  The more experience I get, the more I sympathise.  I doesn’t matter how much you plan on the day of the gig with regards to parking, accessible entrances etc but something will usually happen that you hadn’t thought of before.

For example, a couple of days ago I had an engagement to play background music for an Army Cadet dinner.  However, the contract was written in the dim and distant past and since then, the venue had changed and nobody thought to tell little old me.  They were very sweet about it though and even made me some food!  So I munched quietly on cheddar cheese sandwiches while the cadets tucked into roast beef and Yorkshire puddings followed by what looked and smelled like chocolate fudge cake.  Torture.

But that’s the great thing about this line of work.  Every day is different.  Every gig is different.  It’s a rare gig where everything runs to perfection but that’s all part of the experience.  And, if I’m lucky, I’ll get an interesting anecdote out of it – as well as enough money to put food on the table… cheese sandwich, anyone?.

After a worrying few weeks with no gigs to speak of, I now suddenly find myself with at least one engagement each week until December’s trip to Lanzarote (very exciting!!!).

Last Sunday I was in Leeds with the Leeds Philharmonic chorus, under the direction of Darius Battiwalla.  The only piece I was in was Hierusalem by George Dyson.  I’d never heard of it until I was asked to play it.  The parts are all very challenging considering it’s less than twenty minutes long.  Maybe that’s why it’s so seldom performed.  A couple of chaps in the first violins were kind enough to carry my harp on and off the stage for me so a big thank you to them.

Tomorrow will be a very interesting day.  I am playing in Central Manchester.  Now, I’m not worried that the entire concert will be sight-reading, nor that there is relatively little rehearsal time.  But it’s Manchester City Centre.  I know this area very well and parking to unload is going to be… tricky.  If I come away with no parking ticket I’ll be satisfied.  How I wish sometimes that I could just walk to a venue – or take public transport, it’s often a lot easier than finding somewhere to park my enormous (but loveable) car.

So yes, lots coming up.  I’ll be having my first lesson in a while to help prepare for an upcoming audition (watch this space).  The next few weeks take me to Sheffield, Rochdale, Escrick, Bolton, Doncaster, Torquay and back to Manchester.  Phew!